tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post2257684822327674640..comments2023-10-24T09:43:12.093-06:00Comments on MiddleSister: How I Got My Brain DamageCarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02889603882259256735noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-91353724778545587222010-09-03T01:54:58.689-06:002010-09-03T01:54:58.689-06:00Being a middle child with two brothers and three s...Being a middle child with two brothers and three sisters, I know a lot about fighting, especially sibling fighting. Brothers usually don't "beat the shit out of each other". If they do, it is probably a once or twice occurrence in their whole childhood or there is something seriously wrong in the family. <br /><br />Males have several levels of fighting. The first is play fighting. The second is fighting to win, but in a manner that will not cause injury, other than aching or bruising. There are no hits to the genitals, and the face is usually off limits to prevent serious injury and to avoid telltale signs of fighting, like black eyes. It often takes the form of wrestling. The last level of fighting is all out, and the only restrictions are things like no eye gouging and no hits to the genitals. Some males may break these unspoken rules, but usually only when they are jerks or when they are severely outmatched (even then it is frowned upon and often stops the fight). Of course, all rules go out the window if a male is fighting for his survival or for someone else's survival, such as being attacked by a burglar or mugger. <br /><br />If a male is not attacking you all out (level one or two fighting), I strongly recommend against hitting or kicking him in the genitals for several reasons I won't get into, but I assure you that it is the best interest of both of you. If you wish to stop the fight, try simply saying "stop" or "I give". If you do not want to fight in the future, talk to the boy and make it clear that you do not want to fight anymore. It would be best to make some concessions to seal the deal, such as not using the hurtful nickname for him that you came up with or not borrowing his bike without asking. If this is successful, try reaching out to him. Most boys adore their sisters, but they often get locked into a pattern of tit for tat retaliation. If you break the cycle, you can improve your relationship dramatically, especially if you are the big sister. If you want to give him affection, like a hug, it is best to do it in private. Do not let his squirming or lack of response deter you. He secretly likes it, and it usually gets better over time. Besides hugs, I recommend stroking him with your hand. The head seems to be primary stroking spot, at least for boys, but the back is good to stroke when you are hugging. Go at a medium pace instead of a quick back and forth motion or a slow, creeping motion. He may also like a chest or belly rub or resting his head on your lap. Try to carefully gauge his reactions to find out what he likes. You will probably have to initiate the affection, especially at the beginning. If he comes to you for affection when he is hurt or sad, it is an excellent sign. Many adolescent boys are starved for affection. They got lots of affection as babies and toddlers, but once boys hit puberty, it is as if romantic affection is the only kind that societal norms will allow them to receive, which can lead to things like obsessing over a girl he finds attractive. It is more than a crush, he thinks of nothing else than being with her and follows her around like a puppy (often to the dismay or alarm of the girl). <br /><br />If a boyfriend or husband gets a bit out of hand with his play fighting, find the right time and right words to let him know. Most males are surprisingly sensitive. Some are just better at hiding it.Kevinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-12666654730492523392008-01-09T08:31:00.000-07:002008-01-09T08:31:00.000-07:00Love this post. My sister and I (there's only the ...Love this post. My sister and I (there's only the two of us) could get pretty physical too. I would have loved those capsules! And so true about the perspective of the parent. What I think back on and laugh about for myself, would be upsetting if it had occurred between my own kids.Hilaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12787493532006658679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-22061999757522720912008-01-05T15:03:00.000-07:002008-01-05T15:03:00.000-07:00Dang, I must be doing that thing again where I lea...Dang, I must be doing that thing again where I leave a comment, hit preview, and then forget to hit publish. I thought I'd already left one here.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, our family was also three girls, but I was the oldest. However, the middle sister was tougher and generally crankier than I was, and when we did come to physical blows, which happened a lot, I often got the worst of it.<BR/><BR/>(We get along much better now. But a few decades ago, I would have been very pleased to come across some ammonia capsules).<BR/><BR/>Great post!Crabby McSlackerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12108791388350253344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-35366059808439642122008-01-04T17:28:00.000-07:002008-01-04T17:28:00.000-07:00Cara, I heart you! You can tell a story, my friend...Cara, I heart you! You can tell a story, my friend!<BR/><BR/>I happen to be the oldest of three girls. My sister, Jill, the middle sister, is 5'11 to my 5'6. I tormented the hell out of her when we were small. By the time she got taller than me (when I was nine and she was six), I had to move away from the physical torture(locking in toy chests and closets; convincing her that drinking perfume would make her insides smell good) to the verbal (Ha,ha! Your epidermis is showing and I'm telling everyone!).<BR/><BR/>I'm gonna torment her some more by sending your story and saying, "Ha, ha... your payback was amateur compared to this!"<BR/><BR/>Seriously brilliant. Keep writing!That girl from Shallottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07173578654807609144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-36615738571314132642008-01-03T21:46:00.000-07:002008-01-03T21:46:00.000-07:00For the record. I am in the middle of 6 kids. 4th ...For the record. I am in the middle of 6 kids. 4th sister, 5th sibling. I know, I know, you didn't really need to know that. <BR/><BR/>But I also came by to say I really did laugh so hard at your comment on my blog. Seriously,as soon as I saw "neon-bedecked man" I just lost it...katieohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08339475353059389950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-39214969546264527362008-01-03T19:42:00.000-07:002008-01-03T19:42:00.000-07:00So awesome. All of these sibling stories. Maggie-...So awesome. All of these sibling stories. <BR/>Maggie- Being one of three girls is such a trip, isn't it? To this day, there is still such a specific dynamic when we are all together. We always just naturally fall into our roles whenever we see each other.<BR/><BR/>Sarah- thanks for stopping by! Hilarious. A Doc Marten to the head could definitely do more brain damage than sniffing ammonia.Carahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02889603882259256735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-48782301970756098062008-01-03T11:38:00.000-07:002008-01-03T11:38:00.000-07:00Sister's don't beat each other with their fists, b...Sister's don't beat each other with their fists, but I have had utensils (including knives) thrown at me, been kicked in the head with Doc Martens and I myself have thrown rocks.<BR/><BR/>Sisters also call each other nasty names.<BR/><BR/>I'm a middle child too! However my younger sibling is a brother, and it was all good fun beating him up until he turned 12 and was suddenly alot bigger than me.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17964092474693470699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-45146214459123461222008-01-03T09:10:00.000-07:002008-01-03T09:10:00.000-07:00Hilarious! My two older sisters and I were never q...Hilarious! My two older sisters and I were never quite this creative while torturing each other. :)Magnoliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07840053284734218815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-76356801021583902982008-01-02T22:57:00.000-07:002008-01-02T22:57:00.000-07:00Katie- I am sure that any family with three girls ...Katie- I am sure that any family with three girls has just as many crazy stories. We just took it a little too far sometimes :)<BR/><BR/>ThickChick-<BR/>Ok, so these things were amazing. You could really only smell them when you got them up close to your face, but when you did, it was SO strong. Whatever the paper on the outside was kept it concentrated in one spot. It didn't get on your hands either. I have no idea how they worked. I have a nurse friend, though. Maybe I will have her track one down for me for oldtime's sake. <BR/><BR/>I always longed for a brother!!Carahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02889603882259256735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-64400274357472304322008-01-02T21:39:00.000-07:002008-01-02T21:39:00.000-07:00Okay, I'm dying to know... How does one do the amm...Okay, I'm dying to know... How does one do the ammonia snapping without smelling it themselves? I'm sure you perfected this art too. =)<BR/><BR/>My brothers tortured me quite a bit, but it centered mostly around farts or saliva. Ick. A punch or kick to the groin was always my one and only defense. <BR/><BR/>Aaah, childhood.ThickChickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01933349763585424365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7768515858782631004.post-36206372444580368582008-01-02T21:11:00.000-07:002008-01-02T21:11:00.000-07:00Love the new name, I am very much a middle sister ...Love the new name, I am very much a middle sister too. <BR/><BR/>What a fun read! I'm reminiscing about my own sister ridiculousness. Although I can't share anything because how could one possibly top the ammonia? too funny.katieohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08339475353059389950noreply@blogger.com